Recovery Story - Denis

How did your addictive behaviour develop?

From Age 18 onwards in higher education, pastimes and with friends it was the acceptable weekend thing to do, to meet up in pubs and drink to excess. This was the belief that what having a good time was all about! Through early twenties a culture of meeting in pubs with peers and work colleagues in S. Wales, it was the “norm” to meet up after work for a couple of drinks during the week. I realise now that the people around me at the time all had drinking problems to varying degrees.

Then early married life, drinking revolved around food and entertaining, meeting up with family and like minded friends. Wine with every occasion which always ended in drinking too much. I began to develop secretive behaviour, where during an event I would often have a drink by the side while cooking or finishing off the bottle etc. So I was drinking more than the rest of the group.

This continued through my 30’s until drinking every night, excuses like stress at work etc, fuelled the amount I was drinking.

What Challenges were you facing?

My health was being affected by this stage. High blood pressure prescribed by doctor.

My wife started to question the amount I was drinking. This led to a few arguments as I was in denial. I lacked energy to “get on with my life”. By now I was drinking in secret, storing wine in outbuildings to disguise the amount I was consuming. Getting rid of empties separately to the recycling to hide the evidence of the amount being consumed.

I lacked motivation for sports and hobbies, and alcohol was affected my sleep. I was feeling depressed, fuelled by the deceit of buying alcohol and having to hide it about the house and garden to drink it in secret.

This all culminated in a type 1 heart attack, brought on by an asthma attack, hospitalisation and all the life reality checks that come with the diagnosis and treatment.

The GP prescribed anti depressants and a course of counselling (CBT). They quickly dissected my issues were coming from my alcohol addiction. They recommended amongst other sources Smart Recovery and some reading material.

What led to the decision to choose Smart recovery

My councillor had suggested Smart, AA, amongst a few as tools to aid with recovery. I researched the internet and choose Smart after reading the information and listening to the video content on the site, this all spoke to me as something I may be able to use.

How long did it take to attend a meeting?

It took me about 6 weeks to take the plunge and pick the phone up and call Graham my local facilitator. He has been amazing from this first phone call, together with support from wife Angela they make an amazing team. Graham outlined the format of the online meetings and suggested I attend the next one. I liked the idea of no pressure to be involved so gave it a try. It took a further 3 weeks to attend my first face to face meeting in Wrexham. Graham has a wealth of experience to impart from his personal experiences as well as his knowledge of the Smart procedures and continues to be a motivator in is role.

Who was involved with the process?

Both Graham and Phillip(a facilitator in the Warwick group) early on made me feel welcome. They are non judgmental and together with fellow addicts it all feels like a group of like minded souls.

Did it meet your expectation?

So the first few meetings I found stressful, I found I was just pouring out my history, negative thoughts all over again(been through it with the councillor, family members, GP, few close friends), it was very tiring. I think, I wasn’t hearing anybody at the meetings, all wrapped up in my own thoughts. However I started to sit back and listen to other people’s storys and started to relax more and look forward to more meetings.

Did you encounter any problems?

It was mainly my own perception/shame that held me back from attending the meetings. I felt that I was going to be judged for my addiction and all the terrible things I perceived I had done in my past. I could not have been further from the reality of the groups ethos. Everyone has similar stories to tell, no one has any negative thoughts its seems to be all sympathy for your plight and ok, so how can we help this person out with our own thoughts, what’s helped us out in the past. Just turning up regularly and listening in seemed the best way forward.

What have been the benefits?

To you as an individual. – My health has improved significantly!! My mental health is probably as good as its ever been. I’m enjoying living life again and have a sunny outlook on everything I participate in. I am able to concentrate better at tasks, including the work place where I don’t get as stressed at the smallest of things which helps to get the tasks done easier and quicker. Physically I’m a lot stronger also and enjoy walking, cycling and a bit of rock climbing, all of which I’d lost the love for. I’m looking better, eating well and sleeping well.

To your family and friends. - My family appreciate the effort I’ve put into refraining from alcohol and the continued work I do in Smart. They can see that I look better and that my health has improved. I have been getting on with all those little jobs around the house that I’ve been putting off, which the family appreciate as being great steps forward. My wife comments on how my sleeping has improved, I don’t snore very often now, so she has improved sleep. Also my sense of humour has returned and they just think that I’m fun to be around and can depend on me when the going gets tough.

To your work place or community. - I am able to concentrate better at tasks, in the work place where I don’t get as stressed at the smallest of things which helps to get the tasks done easier and quicker. I look forward to the next task.

What have been the most significant changes you have made

I’ve stopped my addiction of alcohol!! At present I have abstained for 6 months and am looking forward to the next 6 months working with Smart to stay on track. I’m actively seeking out exercise as much as possible and really enjoying putting the effort in. I’ve taken back control of myself and enjoy life again!

Is there any advise you would give to another person thinking about using the Smart Recovery Programme

No matter what stage of recovery you are with your addiction. Turn up to a face to face meeting or go online as soon as you can. Just listen to what other people have to say about their story and how they are dealing with it or have dealt with their addiction. The more often you can attend, the less daunting it will be. Just talking with like minded people will ease some of the angst you feel. You will start joining in and hopefully get to enjoy it, it could well save your life. Also get hold of a handbook and do some of the exercises, or ask a facilitator for some handouts. I found that writing some of my issues down helped to clear them from my head and they stopped worrying me so much.